Who Killed Tyler Clementi?

Who killed Tyler Clementi?
The simple answer, the guiltless, easy answer is that Tyler Clementi killed himself. It's neat and tidy and thoroughly incorrect. The responsibility for the death of Tyler Clementi lies squarely on the shoulders of middle America.
On Wednesday evening, September 22, 18 year old Clementi leaped to his death from the George Washington Bridge. The speculation is that Clementi committed this most desperate act because his roommate, Dharun Ravi also 18, had twice streamed video of Clementi having sexual encounters with another male. And, worse, no-one seemed to care.
There are so very many issues at work here, it's hard to peel the proverbial onion to get to the core issue.
Is is lack of respect for privacy? Oh no question. It's unimaginable that anyone would sceretly stream video for the entertainment of others, even if that video shows only the victim eating or studying or other mundane daily rituals. But to expose someone engaged in acts of intimacy, how low have we gone?
Is the issue just one of "boys will be boys"? Well, yes and no. It smacks of a Jackass prank and we have, after all, raised a generation on reality TV, titillated at the exploits of real people. Can we really provide kids with the technology, raise them on tabloid TV and not expect that something like this would happen? It does not make it right, but it does explain some of the etiology of the behavior.
Or is the issue homophobia? On Twitter, Ravi received sympathy from "followers" at having to share a room with a "gay person". And that's where we hit the "no-one seemed to care" point, since Clementi saw those responses to Ravi's social network post. "How did you go back in that room?" Ravi's followers empathized.
It's easy to vilify Ravi and his accomplice Molly Wei, 18. They need to be punished for their action, regardless of it's consequences. But the responsibility belongs to American society.
We create an atmosphere that accepts that gay people are somehow lesser than. We deny them the right to marry, we do not allow them to serve in the military; are we surprised, then, that barely-dry-behind-the-ears college students subjected this boy to humiliation?
I mourn the death of Tyler Clementi, who- like his predecessors Matthew Shepard, Ryan Skipper and too many others- will likely become a symbol for combating homophobia and bullying. So be it. Every movement has it's martyrs. But Tyler's death at his own behest is not isolated. This is not a random thing that has happened. Gay kids kill themselves on a regular basis, they simply die under less sensational circumstances. And their deaths, too, lie with preachers and pundits who encourage this view of gays as lesser-than. It needs to stop. It needs to start with you. If you find yourself around those who voice negative opinions of gays, who make jokes or other derogatory comments, just say "I disagree" or "I don't accept that." Don't allow someone's bigotry and bullying to go unchallenged. It's a small thing, a ripple. But from such ripples come great waves.
On September 22, Tyler Clementi ended his life. I hope, to my core, that his loss can mean something, can open a dialogue, can be the beginning of people simply saying "I disagree".