Who The Hell Would Choose to Be Gay?

I'm about to upset a few folks.
(Not a big surprise.)
But I will also, I hope, amuse one or two and maybe open some eyes. No, don't thank me. It's what I do.
I've heard more than one liberal defenders of gay folks say, with the best of intentions,: "Of course being gay isn't a choice! After all, gay people deal with prejudice, fear, bullying, discrimination and outright hate." "Who", they ask, "would choose to be gay?"
Well...me.
You see, I don't view my sexuality as an affliction; as something to be separated, quantified, altered or fixed. It simply is. Like being tall, I didn't choose it. Like my hazel eyes, I didn't pick from a menu. But if I could, knowing all I know now, you bet your ass I would.
Allow me, if you will, the indulgence of analogy. (I have no clue why I asked your permission, since you really can neither grant nor deny said permission. It just sounds so warm and old time author-y.). I am 6'4". I am not proud nor ashamed of my height, it simply is. Being tall affords me certain benefits. I am the go-to guy for getting things off of the top shelf for old ladies at Walmart. And I'm almost guaranteed the role of the Giant in the local community theatre's third revival of "Jack & the Giant". (Played it twice already, so I'm something of a shoo-in).
But being tall affords some less-than-ideal moments as well. I'm unlikely to buy a pair of pants off the rack at the same Walmart, they're all too short. And odds are good I'll smack my head on the low-slung door frame to the prop room at the aforementioned theatre. So, being tall has it's perqs as well as it's detriments.. But, overall, I like it and -given the choice- yes, I'd choose to be just this height. It's fun in it's own way, being tall. As I said, people feel quite comfortable asking my help with high things, like shelves. Eventually someone will ask if I play basketball to which I invariably respond "No, do you play miniature golf?" Perhaps being of average height would be easier, but not nearly as interesting.
And so it is with being gay. There are detriments. I would happily have gone through my entire adolescence without being called a fag. I would prefer not to have had to come out to my older and less than hip parents. But most of what was difficult about being gay came from external sources. My poor self image was borne of a society that makes being gay exceptionally tough for a teen. (see: "Who Killed Tyler Clementi?")But that's all pretty much a "moo" point, since there was no choice to make.
You see, as I recall, there wasn't a moment when pre-adolescent Dean said to himself "Hm, guys or girls? Which will I choose? Decisions, decisions." But had such a moment occurred, why wouldn't I have chosen to be gay? Not being gay certainly wouldn't have been a guarantee of a bully-free life. It wouldn't mean less heartache or guilt or fear or any of those human experiences that people who cry "no choice" would have one believe are attendant to the gay experience.
There is no "gay experience", no "lifestyle choice" - there is just life. That lifestyle that we all share, is a sure route to all of the pain, etc. Okay, sure, there may be some commonality among gay folks, some shared emotions but mostly it's just human experience.
And here's a sure bet- if I wasn't gay, I wouldn't be sharing my life with a warm, funny talented man. That would be a tragedy.
So, yeah, I'd choose to be a tall gay guy. I'd like to have been born with better teeth and lacking the gene that makes me crave just about everything that's bad for me, but that's another blog.